who i rant about …
- Myself: I am not your typical mom I think. I have severe “I suck” issues, mostly because my mom tells me almost daily that I suck at being a mom. I love my kids, but damn why didn’t they come with some kind of book telling me how to do this. Being a mom of a teenager is the worst form of punishment there is. I work part time, volunteer all over the fucking place, take three kids to doctors all over the county and fail miserably to clean my house.
- Cool-Cat AJ: 18, living with a friend, loving life with no responsibilities, even though he continually gets denied funding from me. i already took his phone away. He keeps begging me to buy him cigarettes and I keep telling him to fuck off.
- Savannah Jane: 14, completely typical teen with hatred issues–creative smart and into more colorful funkiness this year than she was black teen hell last year. Completely untypical because she has severe bipolar disorder, is on probation for child endangerment and has attempted suicide at least twice in the last year. I still have hope for her.
- Kati-Pie: 7, everyone’s little miss sunshine. The highlight of the day. She wakes up laughing and sleeps with a smile on her face. i hardly ever bitch about her. She was a 24 weeker (preemie) and taught me more about faith and love than anything I have ever known.
- My mom: enough said
- My brother Jason: fat ass lazy asshole
- My dad: he’s getting old and cranky
- My asshole ex-husband Todd and father to kid 1 and 2.
- Will probably add names here.
I have had severe depression and mixed mania episodes since I was 14 and found out about 2 years ago that I am bipolar, having been on some kind of anti depressant/alcohol/cocaine and pot combo since I was 15. I am on risperdal and lamactil and wish that I was back on welbutrin because i had fun then, but I know that would not be good. I have been a dissapointing mom, but i am trying to make up for it. I went back to college and graduated with a PR degree in 2007 and work in nonprofit communications. I love my job, but only work part time right now.
I have three kids, 2 teenagers with my ex husband and one adorable 7 year old with a cowboy three week stand. Dad 1 sucks ass, Dad 2 actually been pretty cool so far.
My two older kids are also bipolar. My son has had some major depression and my daughter is very manic and crazy—mixed mania/depression. Suicidal, cuts, on probation…etc.
We live in a huge house in Texas with my parents and my grandmother. The girls and I live upstairs, my parents downstairs, and my grandmother has her own quarters downstairs too. My brother Jason also lives here. Like I said, huge house. 6 acres of land, little bitty town. Could be paradise except we are all a bunch of dysfunctional fucks.
“you must have chaos within yourself to give birth to a dancing star” Nizche
chaos is my middle name.
