the pto bitches…

A friend’s son the other day introduced me as “Jodi-she’s in the PTO”.  WOw, that caught me by surprise because, well, because i have never been in the PTO before last year, so I still don’t see myself as a PTO mom.

When AJ and Savvy were young and in school i was a total freak.  We left asshole fuckwad when AJ was in first grade and moved here where NOONE knew me.  No rumors to get back to my grandparents, no friends to stop hanging out with me…so that was a huge amount of freedom.  Let me tell you, I went pretty wild–even though I had two little kids.  I started dating, started going to six street with 21 year olds, lost 25 pounds and wore good butt jeans and great boob tops.  and, well, I didn’t care to get to know the moms at the school.  I thought it was cool that I was younger than most (27 when we moved here), so i thought I had nothing in common with those moms and so I found friends among the kids that worked for me at the University where i worked.

so, basically i just didn’t give a shit about the PTO.

Now, I am a PTO mom, just ask my friend’s kid.  I am room mom for Kati’s first grade class and was for her kinder class.  I do the yearbook for the school grades pre-k through 2 (with above mentioned friend).  I do the PTO newsletter every 2 months.  I worked like a dog on the fall festival fundraiser, I go to as many PTO meetings as possible and I try my best to kiss the asses of other room moms and others who are involved with the school.

WHY?  Because I want Kati to popular.  (not as in popular cheerleader freako), but as in, that is Kati and she is really nice. As in, moms wanting her to be friends with their kids.  As in, don’t forget to invite Kati or Lets choose Kati to be on our t-ball team this year.  I want the moms of the other girls and boys to like me so that when they are all in the 8th grade they will call me if they hear something about her and they will want their sons to date her and they will want their daughters to be friends with her.

And to me, the worst thing of all is…I hote the PTO bitches.  THey gossip and talk bad about everyone.  They are up at the school all day doing nothing but talking bad about the people who aren’t in the PTO and worse than that they talk about the kids.  This kid had lice last year, this kid’s mom is a whore that married an 80 year old man, this kids mom had cervical cancer and “you know that means she slept around”.

Now, I know what the other moms were saying about me ten years ago.  Now, I know why AJ and Savannah never had a chance in this small little town–because I was the mom that was a regular in the bar ever wednesday night.  I was the mom who had an illigitimate daughter with a fireman.  I was the mom who (God forbid) worked all the time and couldn’t go to the field trips and the school parties.  ANd, I didn’t know how important it was for my kids to NOT BE THAT MOM.

Now, i am sometimes petrified that someone will find out that I used to be that mom.  Some of the teachers AJ and Savannah had are still there and I am scared they will tell someone else.  Some of the moms have kids in junior high and highschool and I am scared they will see me with Savannah and know how bad she is and know that I totally fucked her up.

Most of all I am petrified for my sweet, wonderful perfect Kati.  She is a good girl and for so many reasons will never have the problems A and S have had—asshole fuckwad drunk dad for one.  But, most of all she has a mom that knows how important it is to be a good mom and be a part of her life EVERY DAY. Maybe that makes me a PTO mom.

Now, off to lunch with another PTO mom.  She is cool PTO mom like me and we don’t talk about anybody except the bitchy PTO moms.

summary: i have a major parenting guilt trip

i’m pissed because: i have 15 minutes to meet my friend for lunch