have you freaks ever heard of snopes???

my home town, Texas..population 4000…number of people that use the internet—150.  Number of people who email me the same shit over and over—100.

email friend 1,          stayathomemom71@boredasfuck.com (highschool friend who got my email address 3 months ago)   she  sends a chain letter a day…clap my hands six times, pant like a dog, blink twice, forward this to five friends and  Johny Depp  is going to jump out of my laptop and give me three wishes (first being she loses my email address).  Seriously, is there anyone left on the planet that believes this can actually happen?

email friend 2,         ) dumbasscountrygirl@redneckville.net (country cousin–seriously)  starts every email with “hi, this is T”  and ends them with, “my email address is  dumbasscountrygirl@redneckville.net.” i wonder when she gets an email from me and i don’t include my name or email address in the actual body of the email if she ever figures out who it is from?  I guess not, because she never replies  (or maybe she hasn’t learned that function yet)  btw this is the same cousin that writes…we are going over their tomorrow, unless i don’t here from them.

email friend 3,          jesuslovesme@bigasschurch.ORG, (various relatives and a few friends), more chain letters, mostly prayer requests, recipe exchanges or bible versus that i have to send to another 5 friends.  On occasion this turns into a sappy poem about a dying child/mother/sister/pastor/soldier with a tear jerker bible verse at the end meant to bring me to my knees asking for redemption.  Usually, i am on my knees puking.

email friend 4,           rumormonger@neverheardofsnopes.com\, this chick and her friends went crazy over the last year sending every little piece of misinformed Obama info imaginable including…obama is muslim, obamas not a real citizen, the counties that voted democratic in the 2000 election had a 12.5% crime rate compared to a 2% crime rate in those that voted republican….  other hilarious stories include killer bees that carried off a baby, a pregnant woman turns out to be a man…etc. etc…just read snopes.com— i quit reading each one and just hit reply…snopes.  my friend actually replied and asked me what snopes meant.

email friend 5,          tstylm4590@ibetthisistheinitialsofallherkids.com (98% sure this is also her password ) every other day she wants to get to know me just a little better…what time did i get up, what color are my shoes, what toilet paper do i use to wipe my ass, and last but not least, who will reply to this message?

email friend 6,            aerosmith_groupie@latest.internet.provider.com, my best friend, but a self proclaimed computer dork.  She still has dial up (lives in the sticks so that is a good excuse).  she calls me once a month and says i haven’t heard from you in awhile, and i say…check your email j, i’ve sent recent pics of the kids, a link to my new blog, a recipe for chocolate cake that you were supposed to send to five people, a video of me giving head to the guy down the street,several thousand prayer requests, a naked picture of obama with hillary clinton, 212 chain letters, and oh, in one…i actually just said HI!

summary:   if you see yourself in this list that is okay, see…i’m making fun of myself too, get it?

2nd summary:  email is fun when you are bored or want to forget your life

im pissed because:  i’ve already got the shakes thinking about my upcoming weekend with no internet…

snopes—airplane with no wing